We are so used to hiding the vulnerable parts of ourselves not only from others, but also from ourselves. Like the two sticks in our example, when two people’s vulnerable spots start to rub against each other, and I don’t mean sexually, although sex cannot be left out of the equation, it inevitably causes tension, heat, friction, and suffering. But if the individuals involved have a modicum of emotional maturity then they can rub, they can feel the heat and friction, and instead of simply breaking down in fear or rage, the two people have the possibility of creating the sparks that can lead to a fire.
If the two people can create a flame between themselves this is a really monumental event. There is no telling what the flame will do, but certainly a great growth process has been initiated for the two people as individuals and as a couple. In its most exalted state the flame could be called The Living flame of Love, but remember that there is nothing naively romantic about this notion. The Living Flame of Love is much more then just romantic love; it is a deeply passionate and compassionate love for life. We could call it religious love or spiritual love, i.e. love for the divinity that is life and is more then life itself.
When two people come together we talk about a third thing that is born. Let us call this third thing the flame we have spoken of, but as we have discussed, it will only become a flame under certain circumstances. If we as human beings want to go beyond fear and tension then we have to be able to stay with the friction of two beings rubbing up against each other for an extended period of time. There is no telling what will happen due to this friction, but we can say you will be the better off for experiencing the fire of life, the flame of love, rather than passively being trapped in fears and insecurities as life passes you by.
This process just spoken of also happens internally in each human being. It is how a soul is created. Remember that Gurdjieff used to say that humans are not born with souls. We each have the seed of a soul and under certain conditions that seed can grow into a soul, but there is no guarantee that this will happen. In fact, many people walk around living there lives mechanically with only the unrecognized potential for a soul buried somewhere deep in their hearts.
We each have a yearning. We each have a desire to live a soul filled life, but most of us do not know how as of yet. This same fire, this religious love that we spoke of earlier, is what is necessary for us to begin to really live as free and independent human beings. Only in this sense, we must focus on how this fire is lit in each one of us individually and not just between two people. The fire lit between two people who are willing to make the plunge into love is a reflection of the fire that is being lit in each individual’s heart. There are some saints whose love is so powerful that they never need to marry anyone because an inner marriage happens. The love that happens between two people is very important and by saying what I am now saying I in no way mean to devalue love between two people. I am just saying that there are two processes going on at once.
This living flame of love that happens between two people is a reflection of the radical opening of the heart that is going on in each individual. In fact, a deep love between two people would not be possible without this deep opening that is happening in each individual. Again we come to the friction. Sometimes an individual is just conscious enough in their own life that the two poles within them begin to rub against each other. These two poles are the objective-subjective, personal-collective, and/or microcosmic-macrocosmic aspects of our being. Normally these two sides of ourselves are split off from one another and we live a very confused life.
We think one thing and act in exactly the opposite way. We are bombarded by the cacophony of voices and opinions within ourselves and it is virtually impossible to do anything with confidence. The first step is becoming comfortable with ambiguity.
As the sparks slowly start to fly from the friction of the two poles within ourselves a little space is opened up in or psyches. With this space we can witness the war or eternal argument that is going on within our hearts and minds all of the time without getting totally attached to the messages being thrown back and forth by the various parties involved. Sure we will falter. Sometimes we will circum to the confusion, but we will have a little space, just enough to see that who and what we are is more then just this constant battle cry that is being raised within ourselves.
As the sparks continue to gather they will eventually ignite the kindling, the seed of soul potential, in the individual. This is a true “Ah-ha!” moment. Now there is the possibility of real growth and the activation of the deeper spiritual awareness within our being…this is as much as I know.
